The betrayal is the only painful and complex expression that can leave a permanent scar for a betrayed as well as for a traitor. Understandably, we tend to bask in our pain and resentment, but learning to show understanding and compassion for the betrayer is a critical step in finding closure and understanding why the betrayal has happened. We will in this post look at the role of empathy and compassion as they relate to the betrayer’s take and how they help the two people involved to heal.
Betrayal does unquestionably bring a lot of damage to betrayers but they experience great psychological torment and suffering as well. Empathy and understanding of the complexity of betrayal demand us to be compassionate towards the betrayer’s humanity and the conflicts they face.
Practicing Empathy:
It means getting the idea of other person’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences through his/her point of view, and putting myself in his/her shoes. When a person is a traitor, empathy is what helps us realize the reasons that might have led them to believe that doing the wrong thing was the right thing even though they were afraid for their lives and they are also vulnerable. It involves giving up prejudices, taking with a compassionate heart, and trying to understand rather than a spell of condemnation.
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Cultivating Compassion:
Sympathy does not stop with empathy; it moves forward and seeks the welfare of all people, even in the event of wrongdoing or intention to harm. Building compassion for the betrayer involves realizing that his person is valuable because he is a human being just like any other and his actions do not eventually strip him of his dignity. It means showing kindness, forgiveness and compassion to them though they are hurting but they also deserve to be loved and healed.
Seeking Understanding, Not Justification:
Familiarity with the motives of the traitor should not be confused with pardoning or rationalizing their actions. It means keeping them responsible for their actions and the damage that they have. On the other hand, the journey to understanding helps us to go beyond the feeling of anger and crankiness and get to a place of healing and forgiveness. It creates an opportunity for dialogue, which may help to restore broken relationships.
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Healing for Both Parties:
Sympathy and compassion for the betrayer are beneficial not only for the betrayer but also for the betrayed. When we offer empathy and compassion, we alleviate ourselves from the weight of contempt and hatred, liberating us to heal and continue. It breaks us from the cycle of wounds and retaliation, thus healing or reconciling the two parties.
The betrayer should be understood from the perspective of empathy, compassion and open-mindedness to look beyond the action to recognize the person beneath. Through compassion, understanding, empathy, and healing of both the betrayed and the betrayer, we can forge a path to healing and reconciliation. Never forget that empathy and compassion are not a sign of weakness but of strength, fortitude, and the ability for development and change.
With empathy and compassion!
Neerja Bhatnagar
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This is my 12th post of this month long writing challenge. You can read my other posts on this subject of Betrayal here.